vii. First Incarnation

Mandrake as my handle had his own story. He was wed, he had kids, they were mortal. Whatever. He had no lasting power in my mind because he didn't fulfill any need beyond feeling powerful. Something I found I could do under my own name anyway. It may be late in the game to claim it, but I've always said I am God of my own mind.

Still the Darkness and I would have plays in my bed, and Mandra's incestuous nature had it's place. This is probably why I can't bring myself to jerk off to pictures of Mandra I've drawn, despite their obvious sexual implications and/or suggestive poses. Unlike her first incarnation, I find nothing truly arousing in my siblings. Ew.

But the plays went on, and eventually, the Darkness started calling herself Mandra. I was about 13 when I remember this really taking root. The stories that followed suddenly meant more. Jung would have called her Anima, but I'm not so sure, myself. If I were so simple I could understand myself, I'd be too simple to understand anyway.

The Reign of Mandra over Randoria almost alway put the world in peril due to her mad logic and selfish philanthropy. The ultimate wisdom of Mandra, back then, was that numbness outweighed sensation and her followers were willing to torture anyone who thought otherwise to teach them either wisdom in death (or not being) or to transcend pain and uncover truth.

Mandra's philosophies at the time could be summed up in one word: Dichotomy. She struggled, back then, to turn black to white, death to life, pain to pleasure, hate to love, etc. Shades of gray were for cowards. It was the extremes that needed switching and the middle groud was to be ignored.

In her castles, because she never tarried in the Godly realms, she eventually disappeared without notification. I was 18.